Blessings

I was encouraged by my mother and a dear friend to listen to the song Blessings by Laura Story.

The lyrics of her song challenge me to daily see my blessings as I wait for the Lord's healing for Owen. We are in a valley, but that does not mean God's hand is out of reach. It's almost been a year since we found out there were complications with  my pregnancy. In that year I have seen God's hand work in mighty, mighty ways. Wether it be the tight bond I have with my husband who has encouraged me and caught every tear falling from my eyes, or from the friends that have prayed for the first time in their lives because of Owen's story, or for the new lease I have on life and the deep friendship I have strengthed with my God. He's blessing me. He's blessing Owen. It's all a matter of how you view "blessing". Could Owen's blessing be not being healed by a miracle? Our strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord. 

I encourage you to read the lyrics before listening to her sweet song:

We pray for blessings
We pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love is way too much to give us lesser things

‘Cause what if your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

We pray for wisdom
Your voice to hear
We cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt your goodness, we doubt your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough
All the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we'd have faith to believe

When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know that pain reminds this heart
That this is not our home

What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy
What if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are your mercies in disguise

I don't know what God has in store for my family. But I know He desires to bless me. Maybe not the way I would envision a blessing. But, if I only had a small taste of Heaven, and could catch a glimpse of His plan-wouldn't I want HIS choices to be mine?

I pray that I as walk this valley, and endure this trial, that my suffering will be pleasing to God. I pray that I am follwing and seeking God's will not only for me, but for my son's life. I can't explain how much my heart longs to see him healed and made whole by the healing hand of God. My God is SO much greater than this. But, could this be my blessing?

My devotional had a great challenge: "Not simply to endure God's will, or to choose God's will, but to rejoice in it."

Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy,  for you are receiving the end result of your faith, the salvation of your souls. 1 Peter 1:8-9

Enjoy your blessings today, and look for those you've been waiting for, they may come in disguise!

Happy St. Patty's Day! (And a little good news!)

My sweet little Irish Boy has been celebrating St. Patrick's Day for 3 days now. (We had to fit in all the cute outfits-right?!)

Here's a recap:

Tuesday: Squeezing in some extra kisses!

Wednesday: Just hangin out like Snoopy. :)

Thursday: Posing with this silly headband from my crazy Mom!

The "luck of the Irish" must have been upon us when we were blessed with sweet Owen! :)

Just FYI: Owen's name is actually Irish (no-we didn't know!) Owen was named after my sweet, wonderful grandpa, Owen Lawson. (He bears his Daddy's name for his middle name.) However, Michael does have some Irish heritage (if Daugherty didn't give it away for you. :)) One of Michael's family members who studies their genealogy actually owns the deed to the first Owen Daugherty's house that come over from Ireland. Pretty cool, huh?!

Oh, and the little BIG good news we got this week: Owen's labs have much, much improved! I mentioned in my last post that Owen had been having some "yucky" labs. That is his BUN (a number controlled by your kidneys) has been very high. Owen's BUN will never be "normal" until he has a functioning kidney. BUT, they like to keep it as low as possible with dialysis. Well, after a little extra dialysis and some fervent prayer...Owen's BUN is much lower! Yay! His last two labs Owen's BUN was 96 and then 108. Yesterday's BUN.....48!! Woohooo! He's feeling so much better, too!

We're off to enjoy the sunshine on this beautiful day...hope you're sporting your green today-which by the way is the ribbon color to support kidney disease!

7 Months

Owen has now reached the point in his life where he is over halfway to being a one year old. It pains my heart to type those words! I am so, so grateful for a thriving baby boy, but long for these sweet, tender baby moments to last forever.

Owen celebrated his 7 month birthday last week.

You might notice that as he is getting older he is also getting much more opinionated as well....as in he is very vocal with me when he is NOT happy. I'll let the pictures tell the story:

"Yay! I'm 7 months old today!"

"Mom...I'm getting a little bored with this...."

"I tried to tell you I was finished wit pictures!!"

In general (that is when I'm not making him pose for multiple pictures) Owen is a sweet, very laid back boy. Although he is very "busy" with the care that he requires, his personality is a easy going, go with the flow type of boy! He is, of course, a Mama's boy. :) He is now becoming aware of "stranger danger" and isn't quite as open to having new faces around. He doesn't really throw fits, but he is a bit more reluctant to flash his "clown" smile. :) Our therapists have said that is a good part of natural development. :)

As far as Owen's development goes...he is (as you can tell) growin' like a weed! He weighs a little over 18 lbs! Although that may now be a large amount for a 7 month old, you have to remember he started out a mere 5 lbs 14 oz! Since Owen was a premie everything is "adjusted" for him. So for his "adjusted age" yes, he is very big! :)

Owen is lagging behind a bit in his length. This is a common problem for kidney babies. Our next appointment in Cincy is this week and our doctors are going to be evaluating him to see if he would qualify for growth hormone shots. As much as I hate giving Owen shots (he gets one bi-weekly for red blood cell counts) I know it is very important he is long enough at transplant time to accommodate an adult kidney.

We have had to do a bit more dialysis the past few days due to some yucky labs. Our docs think it because he was having great labs for a while and we didn't move up...and now he is growing quickly and our dialysis needs to catch up! We are going for repeat labs tomorrow to double check.

Speaking of labs, Michael and Owen had their Transplant Phase 1 labs drawn last week. Unfortunately Michael's blood wasn't labeled properly so he had to have his redone today. So it will be a bit longer before we hear any results. Please continue to pray that God is directing our path to transplant and that we will seek His will through this process.

I will leave you with a few shots from Owen's latest professional photo shoot. This was his six month photo shoot- a month late. :) We used a wonderful photographer recommended to us by our friends. Moonko is great...you should check her out! moonkophotography.com

Are those just not the sweetest pictures you've ever seen?! Thank you for walking this journey with us, for praying for and with us, and for loving our sweet miracle.

It Hurts.

Once again, JJ Heller has found a way to use her words and speak right to my heart.

I recently posted a blog about JJ Heller's song Your Hands and how her lyrics helped carry me through a rocky pregnancy and now help carry me through what seemed to be unanswered prayers that have turned into blessings beyond measure.

On JJ Heller's newest CD, When I'm With You I have found a love song that expresses my heart's unending, totally encompassing love for my son.

The song When I'm With You is a love song written by JJ and her husband describing their love for their daughter, Lucy. The two sing and play together. Words couldn't put together a better love song to sing from my heart to my son.

Here is the song:

When I hold you

In my arms, love
Somethin' changes
It's the strangest feeling

The things that
Use to matter
They don't matter
To me

When I see you
And you're smilin'
How my heart aches
So full it is about to break

You make me believe in love

I could never count all the ways
That you change me, baby
Every day the sky is a deeper shade of blue
When I'm with you

When I hear you
And you're cryin'
It resonates, dear
In a place I didn't know was there

You make me believe in love

I could never count all the ways
That you change me, baby
Every day the sky is a deeper shade of blue
When I'm with you

Beautiful, baby
You're sweeter than strawberry pie
Just like the morning
Your smile brings the sun that shines

I could never count all the ways
That you change me, baby
Every day the sky is a deeper shade of blue
When I'm with you

I could never count all the ways
That you change me, baby
Every day the sky is a deeper shade of blue
When I'm with you

My heart literally aches for this boy that I love so much. Sometimes it actually takes my breath away. How in the world is it possible that my sinful self is loved even more by a sinless God? And even to that, He loves my son infinitely more than I do. JJ's lyrics When I see you, And you're smilin', How my heart aches, So full it is about to break bring me to tears each time I hear them. I love Owen so much it hurts.

I have danced to this song with Owen many nights before bedtime. This is one of the sweetest times I spend with my son. Most nights end in tearful worship and praise to a God who has blown me away with His love and gratitude to me. Owen listens so intently with eyes full of life and praise as I sing. It's a precious time that I not only grow close to my son, but also my Savior.

Please continue to keep our family in your prayers. We will soon be starting the blood work up for the beginning stages of the transplant process. Pray that the Lord is preparing Owen's body to accept a new kidney and pray that a donor kidney will be made available. We are praying that it will be The Lord's will for Michael to donate to Owen. Pray for Michael's health and that he will be deemed an acceptable donor.

But above that, pray for a miracle. It's hard not to get "caught up" in all this transplant talk and lose sight of the fact that there is still time for God to intervene. Pray that the Lord will be merciful to Owen. Be bold with us and simply ask God to wake up Owen's kidneys. To restore this little baby's body and make him healthy.

My mom recently shared a verse with me that is one of my new favorites to pray over Owen:

"Is not my word like fire, declares the LORD, and like a hammer that breaks the rock in pieces?"

-Jeremiah 23:29

I declare the word of the Lord over Owen. I speak healing over him in the name of Jesus. By His stripes, Owen is and will be completely healed.

Now then, stand still and see this great thing that The Lord is about to do before your eyes!
-1Sam 12:16

Happy Valentine's Day

Bet you wish this sweet boy was your Valentine, too!

Owen had his check up today at our pediatrician's office.

He now weights 17 lbs 8 oz! (For those keeping count Owen is just a few ounces away from tripling his birth weight. Babies aren't expected to do this until they are a year old!)


We have our monthly check up this week in Cincinnati to check Owen's labs and make sure our dialysis is doing it's job. We will be meeting with the transplant coordinator to discuss questions and when to begin the testing process.

Please pray for guidance as we begin this process. It is our prayer that Michael will be a match for Owen. We are praying now for the transplant to come in the future. Pray for wisdom for our doctors and for the Lord's will to prevail over all.

Hope your having a wonderful Valentine's Day. We will be enjoying ours with a sweet little boy tonight!

Unanswered Prayers

J.J. Heller is one of my favorite singers. Her lyrics are raw and real and her song "Your Hands" brought me to me knees many times during my pregnancy. To know that the hands that shaped this world were not only holding me, but the precious baby growing inside me.

However, the song now resonates differently within my soul. The song starts out declaring of unanswered prayers:

I have unanswered prayers
I have trouble I wish wasn't there
And I have asked a thousand ways
That you would take my pain away.

I have unanswered prayers. This has been a struggle for me on and off since the birth of my son. I truly, honestly believed that Owen's kidneys would work. My time in the hospital before his birth was spent in deep, daily devotion and I have never felt the presence of the Lord so strongly than I did during this time.

His words spoke to my heart daily and gave me strength to persevere through a pregnancy that was thought by many to turn out without a thriving baby. My fears were released and I was confident that the Lord's healing hand was touching sweet Owen's broken kidneys.

But they didn't.

Owen's kidneys are still broken, they don't work and dialysis is supporting his life. Why? Why did I have such faith, such strong beliefs in a God who didn't answer?

Well, God did answer. He is here. Owen is blessed and loved by a God who adores this sweet child.

God was quiet. I have a devotional book called Streams in the Desert. It is geared toward those who are suffering and going through the valleys of life. I. Love. It. Here is an excerpt from today's reading:

God's tender heart must often ache listening to our sad, complaining cries. Our weak, impatient hearts cry out because we fail to see through our tear-blinded, shortsighted eyes that it is for our own sakes that He does not answer at all or that He answers in a way we believe is less than the best. In fact, the silences of Jesus are as eloquent as His words and may be a sign not of His disapproval but of His approval and His way or providing a deeper blessing for you.

Oh how often I cry out to God begging for answers. Why me? Why our family? Why my innocent son? It may be that God is silent. He is building me up for a life in eternity by fully and completely trusting Him. Instead why not ask why not me? Why not my family?

Go ahead God, keep blessing us. "No good thing will be held from those who walk uprightly." Psalm 84:11

It's coming. I believe it. This is a valley, but I will praise my King that I will not fear because His rod and staff will comfort me. Owen is going to be healed. Whether it be through a transplant orchestrated and guided by the hands of God. Or simply by the healing touch of His hands on Owen's kidneys.

Believe with me. Pray with me. Pray that we will continue to see the glory of God through this time. He's not gone, He didn't forget. He's building up a faith in me that can move mountains. I will not offend a Mighty God with my anxious worries. Instead, I will look at my beautiful, blessed son and thank Him for this gift and truly see the blessings in my life.

He's got the whole world in His hands,

He's got the whole world in His hands.

I fear no evil for You are with me,

Strong to deliver, Mighty to Save.

He's got the whole world in His hands.

HAPPY (half) BIRTHDAY!

Owen is half a year old. How did this happen? Where did my tiny, little baby go? Time is flying by. Everyday with Owen is a new adventure and he is learning and growing so fast! Too fast for Mommy.

Owen is doing so great. He is doing more than doctors ever said he would. (Several of them doubted his ability to live). My baby is living proof of a loving, faithful God who still moves mountains! Praise God that He is the same yesterday, today and forever!

So Owen had his 6 months pictures taken this morning by his favorite photographer. (Mommy, of course!)

The plan was for him to wear a sweet little outfit his Daddy wore as baby. Well, Owen is big, really big. And it didn't fit. BUT we still took the pictures. However it wasn't snapped at the bottom or buttoned it the back!

He probably thinks I'm crazy for taking all these pictures, but he always takes it with a smile!

It's possible Owen has begun teething. Everything goes straight to his mouth! And my always happy boy has been a tad fussy in the mornings and night time.

6 month Stats:

Weight: 16.8 lbs ( That's about 6 pounds shy of our transplant weight goal!)

Length: ~25 in (we go for our check up at the end of the month so I'll know more then!)

Sleep: YES! Owen sleeps a lot, partially due the kidney failure. He sleeps generally 10-12 hours a night and takes 2 to 3 naps during the day. Most naps are about an hour or so. But his afternoon nap is usually 2 hours.

Development: Owen has come a long, long way! We are now seeing both OT and PT for help building muscles. His head control is great, he is intentionally reaching for toys and babbling away! He has no interest in rolling. However, he really, really wants to sit up! Our PT said he will likely sit up first, and then roll. He can sit on his own, but leans forward really far and if the slightest winds catches him...he's down for the count. :) Our therapists have said that although Owen is a bit behind developing physically, that cognitively he seems to be right on track. A smart boy, just like his Daddy!


Sweet Owen has endured more in his 6 months of life that many of you, or I will endure in our entire lifetime. And yet, he greets every new day with a smile. Wow, I have a lot to learn from this angel. He is such a happy, content boy. And although he is growing up way too fast, he will always be my baby. The love of a mother is like no other. I just get lost in his blue eyes and captivated by his sweet grin. God has blessed me more than I could ever imagine by letting me take care of His precious child.

I pray that I greet each day with a smile and heart to worship and adore my Savior. He has been so good to me and I will forever praise Him for the gift of life!

Thank you Jesus, for this precious, perfect baby boy!