That Day, exactly two years ago when my world was rocked to it's core. That Day, when the joy of being an expecting first time Mommy was shattered. That Day, when my faith was challenged as never before.
That Day, when the biggest miracle I would ever witness began.
While April 28 will forever remain etched in my memory as the day Michael and I were delivered the news that our precious, unborn son was faced with a very grim prognosis of surviving life here on Earth. Yes, it's a day that brings tears to my eyes when I remember the pain that immediately struck my heart upon hearing the doctor's unwanted news. However, through my fears and worry, I could not see the good the Lord had planned through this sorrow. I could not see how our lives would be blessed beyond my greatest thoughts and desires. I couldn't see it then, but I see it now.
I see it in the face of an angel who greets each day with the biggest smile. I see it in the eyes of a boy determined to move and reach milestones at an amazing pace. I see it in the faces of doctors who (one) admittedly stated that it was through our faith our son was saved. I hear it in the messages we receive from others who have been touched and moved to seek the Lord upon hearing Owen's story.
Today, two years later I'm not mourning the life that could have been. I'm rejoicing for the trials we've overcome. I'm prepared for the long journey ahead. I'm grateful for the smallest things in life. And I'm busy, chasing a healthy boy who is growing and developing by leaps and bounds!
"The strength of our faith is in direct proportion to our level of belief that God will do exactly what He has promised....Faith rests on the pure Word of God alone. And when we take Him at His Word, our hearts are at peace. God delights in causing us to exercise our faith. He does so to bless us individually, to bless the church at large, and as a witness to unbelievers"
No, God didn't promise me Owen would live. He didn't promise me He would miraculously heal him. What He did promise, is that He takes great delight in blessing His children. His promise shows me that His plan, while challenging, is carefully created to bring glory to Him, but holds abundant blessings that I could never begin to ask for. He promises me that though I will weep, though I will experience sorrow, that joy comes in the morning. He has promised me that through unrelenting faith and trust in Him, it will be okay.
If only I had understood this two years ago. If only I knew that this was for my good. That I would be blessed from this, I could have praised Him more. I could have trusted Him more fully. I'm still growing. He's not finished working in me.
Two years have passed, and I can finally say Thank You. Thank you for this valley of suffering. Thank you for giving me this cup to hold, this cross to bear. Thank you, for choosing to exercise my faith in a tough way, to show me just how mighty You are.
Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today. Exodus 14:13
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