It Hurts.

Once again, JJ Heller has found a way to use her words and speak right to my heart.

I recently posted a blog about JJ Heller's song Your Hands and how her lyrics helped carry me through a rocky pregnancy and now help carry me through what seemed to be unanswered prayers that have turned into blessings beyond measure.

On JJ Heller's newest CD, When I'm With You I have found a love song that expresses my heart's unending, totally encompassing love for my son.

The song When I'm With You is a love song written by JJ and her husband describing their love for their daughter, Lucy. The two sing and play together. Words couldn't put together a better love song to sing from my heart to my son.

Here is the song:

When I hold you

In my arms, love
Somethin' changes
It's the strangest feeling

The things that
Use to matter
They don't matter
To me

When I see you
And you're smilin'
How my heart aches
So full it is about to break

You make me believe in love

I could never count all the ways
That you change me, baby
Every day the sky is a deeper shade of blue
When I'm with you

When I hear you
And you're cryin'
It resonates, dear
In a place I didn't know was there

You make me believe in love

I could never count all the ways
That you change me, baby
Every day the sky is a deeper shade of blue
When I'm with you

Beautiful, baby
You're sweeter than strawberry pie
Just like the morning
Your smile brings the sun that shines

I could never count all the ways
That you change me, baby
Every day the sky is a deeper shade of blue
When I'm with you

I could never count all the ways
That you change me, baby
Every day the sky is a deeper shade of blue
When I'm with you

My heart literally aches for this boy that I love so much. Sometimes it actually takes my breath away. How in the world is it possible that my sinful self is loved even more by a sinless God? And even to that, He loves my son infinitely more than I do. JJ's lyrics When I see you, And you're smilin', How my heart aches, So full it is about to break bring me to tears each time I hear them. I love Owen so much it hurts.

I have danced to this song with Owen many nights before bedtime. This is one of the sweetest times I spend with my son. Most nights end in tearful worship and praise to a God who has blown me away with His love and gratitude to me. Owen listens so intently with eyes full of life and praise as I sing. It's a precious time that I not only grow close to my son, but also my Savior.

Please continue to keep our family in your prayers. We will soon be starting the blood work up for the beginning stages of the transplant process. Pray that the Lord is preparing Owen's body to accept a new kidney and pray that a donor kidney will be made available. We are praying that it will be The Lord's will for Michael to donate to Owen. Pray for Michael's health and that he will be deemed an acceptable donor.

But above that, pray for a miracle. It's hard not to get "caught up" in all this transplant talk and lose sight of the fact that there is still time for God to intervene. Pray that the Lord will be merciful to Owen. Be bold with us and simply ask God to wake up Owen's kidneys. To restore this little baby's body and make him healthy.

My mom recently shared a verse with me that is one of my new favorites to pray over Owen:

"Is not my word like fire, declares the LORD, and like a hammer that breaks the rock in pieces?"

-Jeremiah 23:29

I declare the word of the Lord over Owen. I speak healing over him in the name of Jesus. By His stripes, Owen is and will be completely healed.

Now then, stand still and see this great thing that The Lord is about to do before your eyes!
-1Sam 12:16